Turning the Tables

Online Restaurant reviews hurt!

I know it all too well. I love working for restaurants, function centres and outside caterers, I even teach food services.

I have seen wait staff lose their jobs; chefs lose their jobs, countless sleepless nights and unnecessary menu changes all because of an anonymous side note on a blog spot somewhere. Sure you are paying for it and sure you have the right to complain, but why not do it at the venue. Why not give us the opportunity to fix it at the time.

I have worked services, dealt with chefs and irate customers all my life. I have been reviewed, abused and yes thankfully, praised. I have many stories about what I do. The things I have seen will make you laugh and more than likely shock, but I must admit that's why I and I am sure that motley crew of fellow food trolleys and plate jockeys come back for more!

I love my industry, I have devoted my life to it and I am constantly amazed at the ever evolving nature of hospitality.

However I think it’s about time 'the tables are turned.' I want to review YOU (insert picture of Uncle Sam pointing). I want to review the customer, the party, the special occasion, the first date, the engagement proposal gone bad (awkward!), the water drinker, the drunk, the happy, the sad, the mad and the glad.............You the diner. All thru the eyes of the all seeing all knowing wait staff.

Don't get me wrong, I am not going to rant about what you should have ordered or drank, or the colour of your amex, even if those black ones are so nice to hold......I am go to review your presentation, your conversation, your manners and table etiquette and most importantly the size of your tip! (Quote "We don't tip in Perth cos' the staff get paid more"....RUBBISH........if you have never tipped you have never received good service!)

So how will I rate, easy, I am going to rate out of the number of courses I would be able dine with you. Maybe we will make it to dessert, hopefully we get past bread, none the less 6 courses.

This is tongue in cheek, All anonymous, all in fun. If you know me or where I work please let’s not use names. If you want to comment or contribute go for it! Along the way I will post some of the funnier stories from the 'front of house.'

So here we go........Order in Chef, table 23, 2 covers, on entree............

the plate scraper.